I just finished disconnecting someone in an apartment building and was trying to get back out to the front of the building. Unfortunately, the only way I could find from the underground was through an emergency exit that lead to the back of the building. So, I start walking along the pathway that would eventually wrap around to the front. On his first floor balcony, there was this man holding a telephone conversation. Now, I wasn’t trying to listen to him as I walked by, but I could help but here him say: “You see, the problem is that my polar bear is being considered a captive alien species.”

I couldn’t help but look over at him with a confused look. He shot an angry look at me, but continued his conversation.

If he had said his dog, I wouldn’t have thought twice about it. But his POLAR BEAR???? WTF?

So, I continued along my way.. Confused about his statement.. I wasn’t trying to listen to his conversation, but you have to expect some reaction from a passerby if you make odd statements in a place that others can hear you..

FILE–Investigators, in an attempt to determine the cause of a DC-8 crash, haul one of the engines from the main crater during cleanup on July 7, 1970. The Air Canada jetliner crashed when landing killing 97 passengers and nice crew members. It’s been 40 years since Air Canada flight 621 crashed into a ravine while trying to land at Pearson Airport. Friends and families of the passengers and crew members – many from Montreal and Los Angeles – will gather Sunday July 4th, 2010, for a memorial at the crash site. The 109 people killed in that crash are being honoured by developers who dedicated a half-acre lot to the crash victims and will erect 109 headstones. THE CANADIAN PRESS/STF

I’m writing you this letter to let you know that our relationship can continue no longer.  Oh yes, I do love your cold, smooth Blizzards.  And we will always have the memories of countless banana splits.  Your chocolate sauce…  dipped cones..  the occasional Dilly Bar..   And how could I ever forget ice-cream cakes..   I’m drooling right now just thinking about it..

But I’m getting off track with this letter.  This isn’t working for me.  While things at the time always seem good, when you aren’t around, my true feelings of regret come forward.  When things are going wrong or if I’m having a bad day, you are always there for me.  I get a temporary feeling of being content with you around.  But that always quickly fades..  In the end, I always end up feeling worse off for having you around.   So, we must end this destructive relationship we have before things get worse..

I’m sorry..  That’s just the way it has to be..

This has to be the most unimaginative street name ever!

After calling a tow truck to open up my van, I waited by the vehicle. Right behind me was this guy panhandling. At first, he was quiet, but then he started to talk to me.. Here was his opening statement..

“I wish I had a parrot. That way I could train it to ask for spare change for me. Yup! I definately need a parrot. I think they live for a long time though. And I think they are expensive. And if I need to take him to the vet, that would be hundreds of dollars.. Hmmm… Maybe a parrot isn’t a good idea. What do you think?”

Well, I agreed with him that it probably would be expensive. I’m staring through my passenger window, eying my keys, considering breaking my own window to get away from this guys verbal diarhrea. Because it didn’t stop there.. And I was now running late for work

Eventually, the tow truck showed up and I was on my way. Before I left, I wished the panhandler good luck with his parrot idea. While he had some crazy ideas, he did seem nice enough…

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Top quotes of the year

December 14, 2008 – 1:26 pm

By: THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The Top 10 quotes of 2008, as compiled by the editor of the Yale Book of Quotations:

1. “I can see Russia from my house!” – Comedian Tina Fey, while impersonating Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin on “Saturday Night Live,” broadcast Sept. 13

2. “All of them, any of them that have been in front of me over all these years.” – Palin, responding to a request by CBS anchor Katie Couric to name the newspapers or magazines she reads, broadcast Oct. 1

3. “We have sort of become a nation of whiners.” – former Senator Phil Gramm, an economic adviser to Senator John McCain, quoted in the Washington Times, July 10

4. “It’s not based on any particular data point, we just wanted to choose a really large number.” – a Treasury Department spokeswoman explaining how the $700 billion number was chosen for the initial bailout, quoted on Forbes.com Sept. 23

5. “The fundamentals of America’s economy are strong.” – McCain, in an interview with Bloomberg TV, April 17

6. “Decisions by the secretary pursuant to the authority of this act are non-reviewable and committed to agency discretion, and may not be reviewed by any court of law or any administrative agency.” – the Treasury Department’s proposed Emergency Economic Stabilization Act, September 2008

7. “Maybe 100.” – McCain, discussing in a town hall meeting in Derry, N.H., how many years American troops could remain in Iraq, Jan. 3

8. “I’ll see you at the debates, b…….” – Paris Hilton in a video responding to a McCain television ad, August 2008

9. “Barack, he’s talking down to black people. … I want to cut his … off.” – Rev. Jesse Jackson, overheard over a live microphone before a Fox News interview, July 6

10. (tie) “Cash for trash.” – Paul Krugman discussing the financial bailout, New York Times, Sept. 22.

10. (tie) “There are no atheists in foxholes and there are no libertarians in financial crises.” – Krugman, in an interview with Bill Maher on HBO’s “Real Time,” broadcast Sept. 19

10. (tie) “Anyone who says we’re in a recession, or heading into one – especially the worst one since the Great Depression – is making up his own private definition of “recession.” – commentator Donald Luskin, the day before Lehman Brothers filed for bankruptcy, the Washington Post, Sept. 14

While shopping in Zellers, my 3-year old doesn’t seem to be able to say “elevator”.  I said that she could push the button in the elevator and she said “the alligator?”  After I was done laughing, I tried to explain the difference between alligator and elevator — one you want to be in, the other you don’t!

At a customer’s home, a teenage son notices that his mother’s coat seems to be leaking feathers out of it.  He said, “Mom, I think your coat is mulching!”   I can only assume that he meant moulting!

One of my co-workers had a situation that the customer insisted that they wanted a cable outlet installed in their chicken.  It didn’t take long for him to figure out that they meant kitchen!

And finally, I’ll post this one again…

While I was in an elevator, a customer asked me if I was a cable insulter..   Close!  Installer!

Have a great day!